Parents
PARENT SUPPORT AND EDUCATION GROUPS MAY BE HELD IN YOUR LOCAL AREAS. FOLLOWING IS A LIST OF REGULAR MEETINGS AT VARIOUS AGENCIES ACROSS THE STATE. PLEASE ALSO CONTACT YOUR LOCAL DIR/FLOORTIME PROFESSIONALS FOR FURTHER OPTIONS:
Pasadena Child Development Associates (PCDA), Monthly parent and sibling groups www.pasadenachilddevelopment.org
www.circlestretch.com Announcements can be found about community groups held two times per month at the offices of Joshua Feder, M.D., Child and Family Psychiatrist. 415 North Highway 101, Solana Beach, Ca. 92075 (Just North of San Diego)
A parent education meeting will be held at the Center for Developmental Play and Learning in Santa Barbara on Friday October 1st from 6:30 – 8:00 p.m. The meeting will provide an opportunity for parents to reflect on their DIR/Floortime experiences and share parent to parent. 4675 Via Los Santos, Santa Barbara, 93111
PARENT CORNER 
“I think one of the biggest hurdles parents have to get over in order to make DIR/Floortime a success is the need for the parent to become “as a child” again. This can be a serious problem for parents who feel they must have the child be assimilated into a relatively stern, sterile adult world where there are no crumbs on the floor, no mud on the shoes, and no finger prints on the wall. ”I want to have kids, but let’s get out of this messy phase as soon as possible.” Sorry, but this is a very messy process at times–both physically and emotionally. Parents have to be okay with that if they’re going to get very far.
The child needs to learn that fear and defensiveness can be replaced with laughter and intrigue–but I would guess that often parents haven’t learned that lesson yet for themselves.
How do you teach a child about things like healthy boundaries, for example, when the parents haven’t processed those issues–or even know what they are? And how can I teach my child to process his emotions if I don’t know how to handle my own? How about we all take a crack at teaching “humility” this week? I’m sure we all have that one nailed down 
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This is as much of a personal journey for the parent as it is for the child. And if I, as a parent, am able to realize that there is so much more involved in being a kid than eating, sleeping, and playing with toys, I might also realize that I have just as much to learn from this as my kids do. This is a very humbling thing. In fact, I am starting to see my son more as a respected co-learner rather than simply a naive student. I’m still Dad, mind you–and he is still my son. Yes, he needs to learn about authority, respect for others, and how to be a “good man” instead of a “stinker.” But he does have MY respect, and I am enjoying our journey together.”
Thanks for enduring my monologue. See you soon.
-Adam
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Hi, I’m Ron Ostrow. My ten-year-old son John has autism. We were fortunate that we caught it early and were able to hook up with a terrific developmental pediatrician. She not only told us what services John needed, but she also recommended what therapists we should use. By the time we had our first appointment with the regional center, John had either already been assessed or we had appointments set up to get them with all his providers. Our regional center service provider made a couple of suggestions, but mostly took notes. Within two months of John’s diagnosis, his program was completely up and running.
I’m not sure I could tell this same story if John was diagnosed today. Regional Centers, while always having been under funded, are under even more pressure today to cut costs than ever. As a result, they are looking for more ways to control what services they’ll offer and who they’ll let provide them. Parental choice is quickly going out the window.
I am certain that John’s progress over the last 8 years would not be as substantial as it is today had his mother and I not been able to participate, not only as partners with our regional center, insurance company and school district, but also as the team leaders. I learned early on in the process that “no” was the start of the conversation, not the end.
Parents may not be trained therapists or credentialed researchers, but they are the best and most qualified experts on the subject of their child. Arguments will always be raised about what research shows, but parents know what works and what doesn’t. They know when it’s time to try something new. There is no excuse to withhold services that a child needs because a bureaucrat thinks they know what’s best. Real life tells us what our child needs. Trips to the supermarket, the playground, the movie theater, and the doctor’s office, not to mention school, tells a parent much more about what their child needs than any regional center psychologist who frequently has never even met your child before recommending a standard course of treatment.
Parents are the best advocates for their children. We are their voices and their last line of defense. If we are not included, if we are shut out of the process, if we can’t participate in choosing what services our children need and if our voices aren’t heard, then our children suffer.
As the Governor and the Legislature struggle to cope with the financial crisis facing the State, they must recognize that if our children don’t get the right treatment at the right time, the cost savings they are trying to achieve will only result in shifting the burden to the day when the state must support them as adults. Tell me, who is best served then? Not the state. Not tax payers. Not parents and certainly not our children.
Parents need a choice of services. That’s why I’m here today. I’m here to deliver a message to our representatives, the legislature and our Governor that we must have a voice in our children’s treatment. That developmental therapies can make a big difference in the lives of our children and they are frequently less expensive than the standard treatments that too many regional centers attempt to force onto our not so standard children.
